Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Oh right! I blog, I remember now!

Where have I been?

I lost my one ring to rule them all and while I was searching for it in my wardrobe, I stumbled into Narnia. Tripping over the Goblet of Fire, I fell down the rabbit hole and landed in Oz. While taking a stroll down a yellow brick road, I met up with Bella. After attempting talking some serious girl sense into her sparkly boyfriend-crazed head, she pushed me into the Fountain of Youth. While splashing around, I caught a ride with Captain Ahab but we ran headfirst into Huck Finn's raft. While they were busy making fisticuffs, I scrambled ashore and took off running to Grandma's house. Following the breadcrumbs intently through the forest and brushing spidery Charlotte's Webs from my face I didn't even see Little Red right in front of me until I ran smack into her. Her basket went flying as did my golden compass which was my only real sense of direction. "Are you mad?" she screamed at me. "No, just lost," I replied. And off we went to dear old Granny's home. Yet once we reached the gates, Red went skipping off in the opposite direction strangely reminding me of Dorothy. Looking up, I saw the words "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." "Peachy," I muttered and stepped through and was blinded by a ring of endless light. This laboratory didn't seem very grandmothery let me tell you. Suddenly I heard "It's alive!" to my left and turned just in time to see a monster rise off the table. A horrible gurgling came from my right at the same instant and I whipped back around to witness a lovely looking chap turn into a monster. With a squeal, I ran through the lab and burst through to hills that were alive with the sound of music and a fields of rye. A boy stood in the distance catching children who ran too close to the edge and woman said something about the bird on the lawn. Off beyond the girl with an obvious interest in ornithology, a group of shirtless men shouted something about never talking about fight club and even further beyond them, Mr. Darcy was busy wooing a very British looking girl. Frustrated, I slumped down in front of a very giving tree and sighed. "You're late!" Looking up to see who accused me of tardiness, a white rabbit grabbed a hold of me and pulled me back into his rabbit hole. Somersaulting through my piles of laundry in my wardrobe I landed flat on my back in my bedroom. "You're late for a very important!" exclaimed my long eared friend and hopped back through to the other world.

And that's where I've been for the past month.

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